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04/05/2026

it's almost 4am and i can't sleep because the AC isn't working

i finally have a place to live, but getting to this point has really sucked. for a while, i was stuck between two leads on a place to live: one low-income property that rejected me for being too poor (having too bad of a credit score), and another that got hesitant because they were scared i might make too much money at my fast food job. after nearly two months of jumping through hoops, i'll finally be moving into the latter place. i feel like a real shitter for crashing here at my friends' place as long as i have. things will look up soon though. i look forward to my cross-country road trip.


anyway, in my inability to sleep, i've been working on this site. i wrote a DEVLOG POST about my game. check it out HERE if you want :')

also,

rest in peace hrtcafe.net :( THEY JUST CREATED A MILLION HRTCAFE.NETs!!!

01/23/2026

i went to a big world market thing the other day, and it was really cool. i like fish a lot, so i was taking a lot of pictures of fish until some lady came up and told me "erm, you can't be taking photos of the fish." and i was like "what? why?" and she just said there's a sign saying photography isn't allowed (there wasn't). she probably saw some lumbering tranny taking pictures and not buying anything and thought "ohh i guess buffalo bill here wants to fuck the fish!" which like. bitch, so what if i do! anyways fuck her, here's my cool fish pics



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anyway, on a totally unrelated note, i'm moving across the country soon, and the logistics of that combined with the fact that i'm likely moving into a shoebox ass studio apartment means that i have to purge like half of my belongings before i move. i'll make a neat blogpost thing about that here if anything of note comes from that process. i'll probably end up needing to ditch some stuff i've held onto for a long long time. like, college and earlier type stuff. i consider myself pretty sentimental, and i hate parting with things that have memories tied to them. my memory is quite poor, especially when it comes to things from The Before Times, so getting rid of things can feel like getting rid of memories in a way. weh.

09/23/2025

i'm not able to sing anymore, ever since having my voice surgery, and i'm really bummed about it.

anyway, i've been playing a lot of space station 14 lately and it's convinced me that literally any multiplayer rpg (including MMOs) ideally should be played in-character. awesome game, great for dissociating into if you're not feeling great about your real life circumstances, which has kinda been where i'm at lately.

BUT, i'm hoping to turn things around next week. i switched up my work schedule in a way that gives me much more during the day to get things done, which i can use to like,, lock in, fix my life, work on my game and other creative endeavors (like this website!), etc.

yayy

09/21/2025

SNEEDSITES



a while back, i set up websites for the main cast of sneeders, the game i'm making. i never really shared em anywhere because i figured i wanted to work on em more before showing them off, but fuck it. these sites are under construction still, but feel free to check em out.

sneed's site
rat's site
scooter's site

07/17/2025


okay yeah it's been a few months and i look mostly normal now. in the interim, i had *another* surgery, this time to siphon my voice from my soul and implant a new (dubiously sourced..?) one. i was unable to speak for two full weeks while that healed, but i'm speaking again now. i sound kinda weak and raspy for now, but that's to be expected while things are still healing and settling. i'd post an example of what i sound like now, but i don't really care to.

04/13/2025


i had my face-rippy-off surgery a little over two weeks ago now. it was cool i think, i wasn't really awake for it. i was under anesthesia dreaming about akatsuki combos for some reason (i do not play this character)? recovery has been going very well, i'd say. between not having super aggressive work done and being very well taken care of during recovery (i'm so unbelievably lucky and thankful, i cannot overstate this), things have been moving along faster than expected, which is very nice. i'm still a little fucked up looking, but that's just how this goes. i went from looking like i lost a fight really badly, to some kind of weird chipmunk thing, to being chubby-cheeked in a way that kinda makes me look like a weird baby or something.


that motherfucker forgot to put a flower on my head.

03/21/2025

one year has come and excelled poorly


with the exception of that post i made and deleted about my yurijam game (still viewable on post archive page), i've hardly touched this site in like a year. what the hell have i been up to? have i been toiling away on sneeders? recording that EP that's been half-written since 2021? some secret third thing?

no lmao


no one asked any of those questions, but i've been doing nothing.

okay i have been doing something, but it's felt like nothing, since the whole process has mostly comprised of waiting and dealing with bureaucratic gatekeepy shit. i'm getting that surgery where they peel off your face and grind your skull to dust and stick it back on. it's less than a week away. i told my surgeon to give me a lil flower that grows out of my head while he's at it, but he's probably gonna forget. and then after all that, i'm gonna keep doing nothing because i need to grind at my job a little longer for *another* surgery before i get the hell out of there. i hate insurance.

but getting all of that out of the way and quitting my job won't magically instill me with some feeling of purpose or whatever. i'll probably end up feeling even more directionless than before. being preoccupied with all of this has been a very convenient excuse for doing fucking nothing with my time.


me typing all this shit ^

09/20/2024

I'm entering Yurijam 2024


[EDIT 03/21/2025] : i very much did not finish this game. i'll likely pick it back up for yurijam next year. shit you not, I didn't finish it because I started taking cypro during the time I was working on it and became totally disinterested in the idea of making an eroge.

maybe once i start working on it again, i'll take progesterone to help things along lol. anyways, back to the the post as it was originally written:

my entry, titled lilyfantasia, is a shitty terrible eroge vn with icky transbian elf sex and also it's kind of a final fantasy fangame in an obtuse way (like, it's final fantasy in the same way that a lot of fantasy settings are based on DnD or lord of the rings or wizardry or w/e). it follows enid, half-elf and knight attendant to lady hilda siegfrid, human arcanist and heiress of a powerful noble family with ties to the monarchist government.


look, it's them! ^

there likely won't be much to it other than the self-indulgent smut angle, but I've never made something like this before, and I'm not exactly a strong writer anyway. so yeah it's definitely helpful that i'm not exactly aspiring to much with this lol. maybe i'll actually even finish it :v

03/29/2024

now that i've made this site centered around the media i consume and enjoy, i'm realizing i don't really like talking about media that much but just kinda end up doing it a lot anyway because i don't go outside and therefore don't have much else to talk about.

03/26/2024

lmao wow i'm in website no wayyyyy dude